I Can Do Hard Things!

…And so can you!

I sat with my 5-year-old daughter in the kitchen the other day. We were working together to sound out letters, which leads to sounding out words, which leads to reading… resulting in a profound confidence.

I eagerly watched her as she was learning to read! I watched as she applied the tactics her teachers were giving her in class. I watched her formulate their instruction and her learning. I also observed as she became frustrated; as she struggled to find the sound that matched the letter; and as she failed knowing the letter “b” doesn’t make the “d-uh” sound. She stopped, put down her pencil, closed her eyes and said to herself:

“I can do hard things”.

Now that was the lesson I needed to hear. A lot like reading, a lesson that will forever be with me… to learn a mindset of “I can do hard things,” is one that will take you (and me) far in life.

My last blog, I wrote about leaning into Spring and sitting with myself a little longer, a little quieter and listening a little more intently… well, that has been great, except some of the things I’m learning and seeing that need to be tended to…well, they’re not quite as pretty as the flowers that well-nourished soil springs-forth.

“I can do hard things”.

I’m learning I seek control often under the disguise of “driven” and “perfectionism”. The even uglier truth about control is that it steals joy. But control protects me. Control gives me power. Control gives me stability, but at the cost of deep joy- a lasting emotion, that surpasses the temporary feeling of comfort that control provides.

I see the effects my control has on my marriage. It’s not pretty…

I get the opportunity to work alongside Matt each day and each day I grow a little more fond of the unique gifts he has. He leads in a way that is different than mine. He uses his creativity a little different than I would. He approaches projects in a way that feels unplanned & disorganized… I repeat, I get the opportunity to work alongside Matt each day, and more often than not, I’m seeing his effort & approach through the lens of control. It’s a vantage point that blurs the vision and robs the positive energy.

Self-awareness is a good thing when you’re describing it to a friend… its uncomfortable in the context of oneself. “Discomfort means we’re making progress & vulnerability, in all it’s messiness, is the only way to move forward”- Joanna Gaines (from The Stories We Tell)

“I can do hard things”.

I’m seeking joy and the cost of this joy is my control and my comfort. Dag-gummit, it’s hard; and I don’t have it figured out, but I’m willing to work hard at it. I desire joy, I desire to be present at work, & home and control must loosen the grip for this to happen.

I repeat, “I can do hard things”.

Thank you Little Lottie for telling me exactly what I needed to hear... “It’s hard work, but I can do hard things!”

-Heather